


Three Wolf Moon

by orphan_account



Series: One-Shots [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Never Met, F/M, Humor, Innuendo, One Shot, They're Total Rednecks, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Cartman, Walmart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3569030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butters' new shirt makes everyone attracted to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Wolf Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the infamous Three Wolf Moon shirt review, [which can be found here.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/cr/rR2XKMDXZHQ26YX/ref=aw_cr_i_1) I'd been planning this fic for months and months, but never had the time and motivation to do it. And now, after a concussion, I'm on bed rest and am bored out of my skull, so I created something.  
> Enjoy, and, if you liked it, leave kudos, leave a comment, leave your inheritable property to my name, do whatever you want.

Butters pulled his brand new shirt over his head. At the age of 25, he had finally moved out of his parents' house and into a trailer. His home was only a few feet from Wal-Mart. So Butters walked to Wal-Mart to show off his amazing shirt.  
The shirt was tight, but still fit Butters' girthy shoulders. It had a print of three wolves on the front, and they were howling at a large moon. Of course, the shirt could have used a few more wolves over Butters' epic biceps, and it should have been glow-in-the-dark, but Butters knew it could get him anything he wanted anyway.  
Butters entered the Wal-Mart, and was immediately approached by women. "Hey there, handsome..." the red-haired woman grunted, drooling on Butters' arm. Butters cringed.  
Next to her was a blonde. "Hey, I'm Janie Lou. Would you be my boyfriend?" breathed the blonde.  
"Janie Lou, you seem like a nice lady and all, but a man with a wolf shirt cannot settle for the first thing that comes to him."  
"Oh, come on...if you get me some meth, I'll have sex with you!" flirted the redhead.  
"I'm sorry, ladies, you just don't have enough teeth."  
Butters walked inside Wal-Mart. He picked out the nicest courtesy scooter. After pulling it out, Butters sat down side saddle in order to show off his wolf shirt.  
"Hey!" a cashier shouted at Butters. "You can't use a scooter, those are for the disabled!"  
Butters tossed the cashier a dollar. "Walking is such a drag!"  
The cashier rolled his eyes and let Butters continue on his way.  
Butters rode back to the underwear aisle. As he examined a pair of tube socks, he heard aroused breathing behind him.  
Butters turned around to see a sweaty, dreamy lady in a rhinestone-studded tube top, camouflage sweatpants, and platform flip flops. She grinned at him. "I'm Erica. I really like your wolf shirt..."  
Butters smiled at the perspiring sex goddess before him. "Hey Erica...you know, I'd like to howl at your moon...if you catch my drift."  
Erica obviously did catch Butters' drift. Seductively, she held out a bottle of mountain dew. "Want a sip?"  
Butters accepted, and with that, he drove his scooter out the doors of Wal-Mart, Erica by his side, and they began their new life together.  
"Thank you, wolf shirt," Butters whispered.


End file.
